What do you need to let go of? I work with a lot of couples in my therapy practice. They come to therapy because they are discontented—and brave. That’s why I enjoy this work. These couples that come to me are motivated to make changes in the ways they relate to one-another. And they are […]
Tag Archives | Marriage
How To Love
It can be easy I want to share with you part of a recent therapy session I conducted. The work I did is counter-intuitive in many ways. It connects to a previous article I wrote, Love or Fear. So much of therapy is based on minimizing people’s fears, and although at times this is necessary […]
After the Honeymoon
Maintaining a loving relationship is an exciting new category for us to explore. In our recent retreats we’ve had more young people participating and we realize the remarkable opportunity that they have by learning these skills early in life. Learning how to communicate in a healthy way is one of the primary reasons that a […]
Being Kind
“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” Dali Lama A patient recently shared with me the difficulties he was having relating with his mother. There were parts of her—certain behaviors and attitudes of hers—that he was having difficulty accepting. He recognized that those qualities in her were not going to change. She […]
How Smart Living is Easier Than Hard Work
There is a way of living that’s easier—smart living! It applies to our physical bodies, our emotional lives, our relationships and even the way we do our jobs. For many years I’ve struggled with a physical condition that prevents me from exerting myself or pushing myself too hard. If I do push too hard, I […]
One Thing You Can Do To Find A Healthy Romantic Partner
A patient recently came in complaining that she cannot find a healthy romantic partner. She said she keeps choosing men who just don’t know how to be happy. Regardless of how well their life is going, they complain about something. And nothing she ever does seems good enough to make up for their unhappiness. I […]
Happy Couples — Day 8 — Maya Tulum
We are at the end—the physical end—of this Live Conscious Retreat, in Maya Tulum. But I don’t think of this as an end, instead it is a beginning for the people who came together for the past eight days. As we learned to use a new set of communication tools and we lived together in […]
Individuate (two me’s create a we) — Day 5 — Maya Tulum
It’s day 5 of our winter retreat and today we explored the stages of human development from approximately age twenty until the time when we become elders. One of the most significant things that happens during these stages is that we individuate from our parents—this is a time of letting go, learning to stand on […]
What Should I Expect From My Relationship?
What should I expect from my relationship? This is such an important question, and one that many couples never ask or answer. It really comes down to understanding and agreeing on our rights and responsibilities.
Why Do I Hold Myself Back?
I recently received an email from a client asking, “Why do I hold myself back?” Her precise words were, “I continue to feel myself holding back a small part of me … not wanting to fully engage myself. I recognize that I do this in several areas of my life. I protect myself in this […]