Travel That Changes You

Travel that changes you

The retreats we offer are not just for recreation, but also re-creation. If you want to re-create yourself—find your purpose, re-boot a special relationship, or re-connect with yourself—those are great reasons to join one of our retreats.

When people travel to our retreats they find themselves in unfamiliar surroundings—beautiful, but unfamiliar. And this is part of the value of going somewhere away from your home to focus on your personal development. When we get out of our routines and habitual environments we feel disoriented, and that allows us a chance to reorient ourselves. That’s what happens during our retreats. Participants consciously reorient themselves to create the kind of lives and relationships they want.

More potent than therapy

Many people who go to therapy don’t experience significant change. Yes, it’s comforting to talk to someone, to be listened to. Yes, it’s helpful to get a fresh perspective. But, generally, significant change doesn’t come about. The reason is that almost all therapy uses language in the same way we use language to create our problems in the first place. So we go around and around, but we never break out of the basic problem—blaming other people, or the world, for our problems.

The client says to the therapist,

I spoke to my mother last night and she completely dismissed how I was feeling.

The well meaning therapist responds,

I’m sorry that happened, it never feels good to be dismissed by someone.

And in that moment, the therapist inadvertently validates the client’s experience of being dismissed. Someone dismissed you. Someone did something to you. Someone else is the cause of your frustration or unhappiness.

A different kind of conversation

From a Live Conscious perspective the conversation would sound very different. The client says,

I spoke to my mother last night and she completely dismissed how I was feeling.

The therapist responds by saying,

Oh, I don’t think so. Your mom didn’t dismiss you. You may have dismissed yourself because you didn’t get what you want from your mother, but that doesn’t mean your mom dismissed you. Your mom isn’t doing anything to you, your mom is just being who she is. And you’re no longer a child in relationship to her.

Now, I do believe that you may have dismissed yourself or made yourself feel unseen, but you’re doing that to yourself. See what happens when you change your language and say, “I dismiss myself with my mother.”

I believe you may be doing that. And, since you’re the one doing that to yourself, you have a choice in this matter. Are you willing to look at this from the point of view that you’re doing this to yourself?

Does this sound like a small difference to you? It’s huge. If people change their language in this way they change the nature and structure of their relationships. When we do this, we have more responsibility and more control in our lives. We stop being so reactive. We stop letting other people control our nervous systems. We become more accepting—allowing others to be who they are without taking it personally. I was just working with a client who said to me, “When I express myself in this way I feel courageous.”

So, if you’re serious about making fundamental, sustainable changes in your life, learn how to change the way you speak.

Discover who you are

This is the other essential thing for those of us who want to re-create our lives. We have to discover who we are. Well, that’s not so easy to do when we live in a world in which other people are always telling us who we are. People tell us who we are when they care-take us, blame us, hold us responsible for how they feel, place their expectations upon us and judge us.

What’s remarkable about attending a Live Conscious Retreat is that no-one tells you anything about you for the entire week. When you speak, it’s like you’re E.F. Hutton, people just listen. Does this sound like a small thing? It’s huge. It is a remarkable way to get to know who you are. Instead of being confused or overwhelmed with other people’s input, you simply have a chance to clearly, non-judgmentally see yourself.

If you are serious about making some changes in your life, come on a trip with us. You will find yourself in a beautiful place, without familiar forms of stimulation, experiencing yourself in a new ways, learning how to have new conversations . . . all so that you can learn to Live Conscious.