I recently received an email from a client asking, “Why do I hold myself back?” Her precise words were, “I continue to feel myself holding back a small part of me … not wanting to fully engage myself. I recognize that I do this in several areas of my life. I protect myself in this […]
Author Archive | Jake Eagle
The Social Animal by David Brooks validates Live Conscious
The Social Animal by David Brooks, NY Times columnist, intelligently explains and demonstrates what it means to be human. He helps us understand that our unconscious mind—more than our conscious mind—influences our emotions, decision making, perceptions and broadly speaking, the ways in which we make meaning. Brooks reassigns greater value—and appreciation—to our unconscious mind […]
Leaving a Relationship: The Easy Way Out? | Huffington Post
As a practicing therapist, working with many couples over the past 20 years, I disagree with Dr. Margaret’s Paul’s recent article in the Huffington Post, Leaving A Relationship: The Easy Way Out?, wherein she proclaims that difficult relationships are fodder for personal growth and that relationships are hard work. If you believe this, you’re in […]
How To Find Courage
So many of us want to have more courage. But, maybe we don’t need more courage! That’s probably not the answer you were expecting, but I think that our search for courage has an unintended consequence, which is that it validates our fears. What if instead of trying to muster up our courage, brace ourselves […]
Buddhism Taking Refuge or How Do We Make Ourselves Feel Safe?
One of our Live Conscious community members recently participated in a Buddhist dharma leadership retreat. He shared with us that in Buddhism taking refuge is a important concept, and he asked us to think about how we take refuge. He explained that we can “take refuge,” or we can “take false refuge.” What follows is […]
How To Stop Arguing
I’m a Gunsmoke enthusiast. The TV show aired from 1955 to 1975, and provided mentoring in honesty, integrity, accountability, kindness, and grit. Those of us who grew up paying attention to Matt Dillon learned valuable lessons. Recently watching a rerun, I thought to myself that Matt knows how to stop arguing with people and this […]
Nice Guys Finish First, NY Times
In his recent NY Times column, David Brooks explores the idea that nice guys finish first. He acknowledges that, yes, “we spend our time trying to maximize our outcomes — competing for status, wealth and mating opportunities,” but that “humans developed moral minds that help them and their groups succeed.” Instead of talking about competition […]
A New Gauge to See What’s Beyond Happiness, The NY Times
John Tierney explores why Martin Seligman, the author of “Authentic Happiness,” now regrets that title. It appears that happiness is not the only criteria to living a good life. Now, Seligman sees “accomplishment” as another highly desirable criteria that contributes to well-being or flourishing, which is why he titled his new book, “Flourish.” The five […]
Why Do I Keep Choosing The Wrong Partner?
In my previous postings, “How to Find a Good Man” and “How to Find a Good Woman,” I emphasized that early in the dating stage you need to be rather intolerant. I’d like to say more about this. If you’re trying to find a good partner—male or female—one key is to apply your criteria before […]
How To Find A Good Woman
In an earlier posting I wrote about how to find a good man . Most everything I said applies to finding a good woman, so please reference that post. However, here are a few more specific comments. By the way, there’s a lot more interest expressed by women trying to find a good man than […]