My whole life I have resisted owning my gifts, my beauty and the fullness of my heart. A wise man who knew this about me asked, “Why do you resist such great stuff?” My answer is that I resist what is unfamiliar and being happy, feeling full and exhilarated every morning when I wake is […]
Tag Archives | Bonding
Owning Myself, Not Editing Myself
One of my talents and ways of making a living is being an editor and it’s work I love to do—I love words and working with languages. But there is another kind of editing I do that I don’t like—editing myself, holding myself back, not being fully myself. Recently, I was in New Mexico and […]
Two Very Different Kinds of Romantic Love
What does it look like, feel like, sound like to have a healthy heart connection within your romantic love relationship? This question arose recently when I was working with a client. The man I was working with is very healthy, extremely bright, and very committed to his own personal development. But the more we talked the […]
The Worst Thing I Almost Ever Did To Myself
If you consistently read our blogs you know that, recently, my mother passed away. The way I have processed her death has been very—I’m searching for the right word—nourishing, affirming, enlightening. These seem like strange words to use when talking about losing someone I dearly love. Yet, I feel good about the way I spontaneously […]
The Things We Carry— emotional baggage
Last year I was a lab virgin. This year I’m a lab veteran, meaning I’ve been to a Live Conscious Lab before. Why do the members of our small but growing community refer to these retreats as labs? Because they are places to experiment—to be totally honest, to ask for what you want, to explore your […]
Preciousness of Life
Kyoto, Japan It is Tuesday evening in Kyoto, Japan. We have just finished conducting a Live Conscious Retreat. In our retreats, all participants use pseudonyms, no one uses their real name. For this retreat Hannah chose the name “Yuuki”, which is the Japanese word for courage, and I chose the name “Mr. Lucky”—which in Japanese […]
Can I recover from child abuse?
I left a small child—my child—over 30 years ago because I was afraid to be a mother. I made sure he was in good hands and then I ran away. For years we have pretended that what I did was acceptable because of my own pain and my terrifying childhood. Can my son recover from […]
Running for my Emotional Life
I am a runner. Not a marathon runner, not a jogger, but an emotional runner. When I find myself in a challenging situation my instinct is to run—others may have the instinct to fight, others will freeze. It’s part of our primitive nature and how we respond to what we perceive as dangerous. In the […]
How to be a better man
Do you want to be a better man? Do you remember that line from the movie, As Good As It Gets—Jack Nicholson says to Helen Hunt—”You make me want to be a better man.” And she says, “That’s maybe the best compliment of my life.” In the past few weeks I’ve been counseling several couples. […]
Finding Yourself – A Love Story
Finding yourself is a journey Finally, one perfect day in early July, I arrive in northern New Mexico with comfortable clothes, a journal, sunscreen, a jacket for cool nights, and rain gear. I’m aware that I’m carrying my interior baggage as well—hoping that someone will be heavier than I, uglier, older, more insecure, more anxious, […]