What if you thought of the act of apologizing— not as admitting that you were wrong—but as a mature choice that you get to make to reconnect with someone you love. Just to be clear—I do know people who are chronically apologetic—that’s not what I am talking about. I’m talking about […]
Tag Archives | Communications
Be Intolerant
We are proposing that there are two primary things you need to do to simplify your life so that you can be happy. Last week’s article was written by Hannah, who suggested that kindness is the key. This week I want to share with you the other side of the coin—my side—which says you also […]
Being Kind
“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” Dali Lama A patient recently shared with me the difficulties he was having relating with his mother. There were parts of her—certain behaviors and attitudes of hers—that he was having difficulty accepting. He recognized that those qualities in her were not going to change. She […]
How to stop being judgmental
Are we born judgmental beings, or at birth are we pure and pristine—trusting and open? I often hear people talk about wanting to get back to the state they think they were born in, before they became judgmental and fearful. But did such a state exist? My belief is that such an open, receptive, loving […]
The Need To Be Right
“You have your way.I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche Yesterday I drove my mother and father to the VA hospital in Albuquerque for a doctor’s appointment. I had never been to a VA hospital before. I guess […]
One Thing You Can Do To Find A Healthy Romantic Partner
A patient recently came in complaining that she cannot find a healthy romantic partner. She said she keeps choosing men who just don’t know how to be happy. Regardless of how well their life is going, they complain about something. And nothing she ever does seems good enough to make up for their unhappiness. I […]
Why Don’t You Get What You Want?
Do you get what you want in your life? I’m not talking about material things; I’m talking about your primary relationships. Does your partner give you what you want? Are you treated the ways you want to be treated? Do you receive from your partner the things you most want from him or her? What […]
The Secret Language Of Buddhism
Here’s the first secret: An ancient Pali language, the language that the Buddha spoke during his lifetime, was a “verbing” language. This way of speaking was unique in that it allowed one to stay in process, not fixing oneself or clinging to a static or permanent state, but being in motion, continuously […]
Perception Language is a Mindfulness Practice
Perception Language allows you to listen to other people without getting defensive, realize they are only talking about themselves, and stop making compassion-less judgments of others. Perception Language allows you to speak with authority and clarity about your own experiences, to be in the present moment, and to more easily reveal yourself so you […]
Enlightenment Can Lead To Arrogance
What is enlightenment? I see it as a state of constructive contentment. That is, being constructive—making some sort of contribution—and feeling satisfied at the same time. One of the things about this state of being is that it feeds on itself. If I am content and constructive in this moment, I am likely to be […]