What if we didn’t try so hard to be someone other than who we are? Ingrid Matthieu writes in Psychology Today that many of her clients believe that if they were “thin, pretty, enlightened, funny, smart, had a boyfriend/girlfriend, were richer, less anxious, less fearful, less of themselves, then they would be happy: forever.” She […]
Tag Archives | Love
In Search of the Authentic Life | Psychology Today
If you’re in search of the authentic life, it’s worth reading Bob Edelstein’s article in Psychology Today. He writes about his transformation in the early 70’s after reading Carl Rogers’ “Freedom to Learn”. Rogers advocated for an “inner-directed way of being”– authoring your life rather than living your life by old rules and beliefs given […]
Why Do I Hold Myself Back?
I recently received an email from a client asking, “Why do I hold myself back?” Her precise words were, “I continue to feel myself holding back a small part of me … not wanting to fully engage myself. I recognize that I do this in several areas of my life. I protect myself in this […]
Leaving a Relationship: The Easy Way Out? | Huffington Post
As a practicing therapist, working with many couples over the past 20 years, I disagree with Dr. Margaret’s Paul’s recent article in the Huffington Post, Leaving A Relationship: The Easy Way Out?, wherein she proclaims that difficult relationships are fodder for personal growth and that relationships are hard work. If you believe this, you’re in […]
Personal Growth Through Revealing
I have been thinking lately about how much I grow myself by revealing myself and being witnessed in a Live Conscious Retreat. Revealing is a powerful personal growth tool. By nature I am an introvert. I sometimes shy myself in groups. But the more I reveal myself in retreats and gatherings, the more I comfort […]
Why Do I Keep Choosing The Wrong Partner?
In my previous postings, “How to Find a Good Man” and “How to Find a Good Woman,” I emphasized that early in the dating stage you need to be rather intolerant. I’d like to say more about this. If you’re trying to find a good partner—male or female—one key is to apply your criteria before […]
How To Find A Good Woman
In an earlier posting I wrote about how to find a good man . Most everything I said applies to finding a good woman, so please reference that post. However, here are a few more specific comments. By the way, there’s a lot more interest expressed by women trying to find a good man than […]
How To Find A Good Man
“How To Find A Good Man,” is a continuation from an earlier blog, “Why can’t I find a good man,” in which I suggest that many women attempt to force relationships to work with the wrong men. It’s as if these women try too hard. Ironically, if they are successful, they end up in a […]
Why Can’t I Find A Good Man?
In my private counseling practice I work with a lot of women who ask the question, “Why can’t I find a good man?” I often point out the good news, which is that you’re only looking for one. Today, I had a casual conversation with a woman who used to be a client. I haven’t […]
How To Fall Back In Love
On eHow’s ‘tips from people like you’, Terri R writes an interesting article giving 6 useful instructions to consider in order for couples to fall back in love. Great stuff, but much of what is suggested can be easier said than done. I believe the most likely way to successfully fall back in love, is […]