We are proposing that there are two primary things you need to do to simplify your life so that you can be happy. Last week’s article was written by Hannah, who suggested that kindness is the key. This week I want to share with you the other side of the coin—my side—which says you also […]
Tag Archives | Maturity
How To Eliminate Suffering
What lives between the onset of emotional pain and the resolution of that pain is suffering. I am learning to radically reduce the time between the onset of emotional pain and the resolution of that pain—thereby reducing or eliminating suffering. I don’t know if it’s possible to live without pain—I don’t think so—but I’ve come […]
What is your style of adapting to stress? Maturity is the healthiest response.
In one of my previous articles I mentioned the Grant Study, which involves researchers at Harvard who have been asking, “Is there is a formula for the good life?” They have come up with some interesting and helpful conclusions as a result of endlessly examining, questioning, testing, and measuring 268 students over a span of […]
One Thing You Can Do To Find A Healthy Romantic Partner
A patient recently came in complaining that she cannot find a healthy romantic partner. She said she keeps choosing men who just don’t know how to be happy. Regardless of how well their life is going, they complain about something. And nothing she ever does seems good enough to make up for their unhappiness. I […]
The Key To Happiness
The Grant Study began in 1938, tracking a group of 268 students at Harvard University, and these students have now been observed and interviewed over nine decades. The results are quite revealing and inspiring. Dr. George Vaillant is the storyteller of the study and the “curator” of these men’s lives. What he shares about his […]
Why Don’t You Get What You Want?
Do you get what you want in your life? I’m not talking about material things; I’m talking about your primary relationships. Does your partner give you what you want? Are you treated the ways you want to be treated? Do you receive from your partner the things you most want from him or her? What […]
Happy Couples — Day 8 — Maya Tulum
We are at the end—the physical end—of this Live Conscious Retreat, in Maya Tulum. But I don’t think of this as an end, instead it is a beginning for the people who came together for the past eight days. As we learned to use a new set of communication tools and we lived together in […]
Individuate (two me’s create a we) — Day 5 — Maya Tulum
It’s day 5 of our winter retreat and today we explored the stages of human development from approximately age twenty until the time when we become elders. One of the most significant things that happens during these stages is that we individuate from our parents—this is a time of letting go, learning to stand on […]
Enlightenment Can Lead To Arrogance
What is enlightenment? I see it as a state of constructive contentment. That is, being constructive—making some sort of contribution—and feeling satisfied at the same time. One of the things about this state of being is that it feeds on itself. If I am content and constructive in this moment, I am likely to be […]
How to Individuate | Step Three
The final stage in the process of individuation is reconnecting with the person you individuated from and interacting with them without losing yourself. This is not always possible. But you won’t know until you go through the stages of declaring and separating, which I previously wrote about. This final stage involves making new agreements, but […]