Do you want to break free of old obstacles? If you are like most of the people I work with, you’re self-aware and smart. Even so, you have certain obstacles in your life that hold you back. And often, these obstacles aren’t new—it’s the same old things that hold you back. If you want to […]
Tag Archives | Self acceptance
How to stop being judgmental
Are we born judgmental beings, or at birth are we pure and pristine—trusting and open? I often hear people talk about wanting to get back to the state they think they were born in, before they became judgmental and fearful. But did such a state exist? My belief is that such an open, receptive, loving […]
How To Eliminate Suffering
What lives between the onset of emotional pain and the resolution of that pain is suffering. I am learning to radically reduce the time between the onset of emotional pain and the resolution of that pain—thereby reducing or eliminating suffering. I don’t know if it’s possible to live without pain—I don’t think so—but I’ve come […]
What Is Your Essence?
If you weren’t molded by your parents during the first three to four years of your life, who would you be today? If you ponder this vital question—and answer it with just one word—you will find your essence. The answer is not that you were pure and perfect before your were influenced by others. […]
Personal Narrative — Day 6 — Maya Tulum
Since early on in this retreat the participants have been thinking and working on what we call a “personal narrative.” The idea behind your personal narrative is that you have a story—you may not be conscious of your story—but you have a story. Is your story—your narrative—healthy? Is your personal narrative one that makes […]
What You Judge Won’t Budge: Huff Post Article
Margaret Paul, Ph.D, has an article in The Huffington Post, What You Judge Won’t Budge. In expounding the value to stop being judgmental, she explains, “When you judge yourself, you create an inner resistance. The way through this resistance is to move out of judgment and into compassion for yourself. Compassion opens the door to […]
How to Individuate | Step Three
The final stage in the process of individuation is reconnecting with the person you individuated from and interacting with them without losing yourself. This is not always possible. But you won’t know until you go through the stages of declaring and separating, which I previously wrote about. This final stage involves making new agreements, but […]
Change the Way You Look at Things and the Things you Look at Change
In Psychology Today, Michael Michalko writes about our perceptions and how they color our experience of the world around us. “People tend to think of perception as a passive process. We see, hear, smell, taste or feel stimuli that impinge upon our senses. We think that if we are at all objective, we record what […]
Becoming More of Who You Already Are | Psychology Today | Self Acceptance
What if we didn’t try so hard to be someone other than who we are? Ingrid Matthieu writes in Psychology Today that many of her clients believe that if they were “thin, pretty, enlightened, funny, smart, had a boyfriend/girlfriend, were richer, less anxious, less fearful, less of themselves, then they would be happy: forever.” She […]
In Search of the Authentic Life | Psychology Today
If you’re in search of the authentic life, it’s worth reading Bob Edelstein’s article in Psychology Today. He writes about his transformation in the early 70’s after reading Carl Rogers’ “Freedom to Learn”. Rogers advocated for an “inner-directed way of being”– authoring your life rather than living your life by old rules and beliefs given […]